I was completely floored the first time I was asked how to buy a dildo with parents. I never imagined I’d be in this situation- I mean, how do I bring something like that up to my mom or dad? It was nearly impossible to come up with a plan that wouldn’t bring shame or hurt their feelings. There was no way around it, I needed to get creative and fast.

So, I took a deep breath and started to create my own plan. At first, I thought about inventing some sort of outrageous story about why I needed a toy like this. Under the pretense of my college friend, I could make up a believable story why I needed to get my hands on the toy. However, I thought that would result in more questions and I wanted no part of that.

Next, I went online to research different methods. What I found surprised me. There were companies out there that delivered toys discreetly. Now, it was just a matter of deciding what toy I wanted and the amount of money that I was willing to spend. Thankfully, I had a little pocket change saved up and Penis Rings had no problem splurging a bit.

It wasn’t long before I had made up my mind. I found this gorgeous, metallic dildo that seemed to be perfect. Finally, I made my purchase and began to worry about how I was going to pick it up and take it home. I racked my brain and came up with the idea of having it shipped to a friend’s house as a surprise gift. I was elated with my idea, dildos but I was still worried about when I was going to get the it.

After a week had gone by, my curiosity was starting to get the best of me. I was anxious to see if the toy had arrived at my friend’s house and if I was going to be able to use it without getting caught. Suddenly, my worst fear came to fruition when I heard my mom’s voice from the other room yelling, “What in the world is this?!”. At that moment, I ran into my room and hid in a closet, as I heard her voice get closer and closer. I was too embarrassed to come out. After all, it was the dildo delivered to my friend’s house that I had been so anxiously awaiting. Thankfully, she never saw me, but I did hear my mom mumble something about how she knew I was going to get into trouble.

My heart was pounding and I knew I had narrowly escaped a huge disaster. Thankfully, I was able to finally get my hands on the dildo and it was well worth the effort. Now, I finally had the opportunity to explore my own sexuality without judgement or interference from anyone. It was the most liberating feeling in the world.

My experience with buying a dildo with parents taught me so much, from relying on creative strategies to executing them in a timely manner. It was certainly a learning practice that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Who knows, maybe I’ll get the chance to plan such a daring purchase again. But, if I do, I’ll be sure to double-check that my mom isn’t going to see the delivery!