It was the kind of moment I had always dreaded—I had made the stupid mistake of following a whim. I was lying on my bed with my laptop open, scrolling through the kinds of things I rarely ever looked at. I felt my fingers quiver as I realized what I had stumbled upon: a sexy, petite girl putting a dildo in her butt.
I was frozen for a moment, my brain struggling to process what I was seeing. The sight was both fascinating and terrifying. I felt an uncomfortable warmth spread throughout my body. I wanted to look away and pretend like I had never opened the page, but I couldn’t force myself to do it. It was like I was in some kind of trance.
The girl in the video seemed so confident and in control. I watched her expertly prepare the dildo before she carefully put it in her butt. The sight was somewhat intoxicating for me, and I couldn’t help but admire her body as she moved. I felt my heart race as I clenched my teeth in nervous anticipation.
My hands shook as I watched the girl move the dildo in and out of her, as if it was some kind of dance. I felt a hot flush creep up my neck as I realized I was actually enjoying the sight. I felt like I was living out my own forbidden fantasies—I had to admit it was kind of a turn on.
When the video finished, I was left with more questions than answers. I felt like I had gained a little knowledge about a part of the world I had never known about before. Was it wrong to find it so captivating? Should I feel ashamed for enjoying the sight of such a thing?
I racked my brain for answers, unsure of whether I should talk about this with anyone. It wasn’t like it was something I could turn to my friends about. After a long debate with myself, I decided that my reaction was normal; I wasn’t alone in my curiosity.
I began to research more about the topic, before I got lost in a rabbit-hole of different articles and opinions. I learnt about the history of sex toys, the different ways they were used, and the passionate debates around their use. I read some amazing stories of self discovery and female empowerment that I could relate to.
I also found a few forums online filled with people with similar stories. It felt like a big weight had been taken off my chest. For the first time I didn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed about my thoughts and curiosity. I felt accepted and liberated.
I also learnt about the different kinds of dildos available online. I came across realistic models, vibrators, thrusting toys, butt plugs, and many other kinds of things I had only ever heard about in whispers before. It was like I had gained access to a whole world I hadn’t even known existed.
I gradually built up the courage to experiment with a few toys. I found out that it was possible to have amazing orgasms using them. It felt like I had unlocked a secret about my body that I had never known before. I couldn’t help but wonder: why have I been so scared about this until now?
The experience made me realise that there is nothing wrong or shameful about exploring yourself and experimenting with different kinds of toys. I learnt that it can actually lead to some amazing sexual experiences and moments of self-discovery. It was like being liberated and discovering a part of myself I never knew existed.
I read a few inspiring books and articles about the history of different sex toys and why some people chose to use them. I learned the importance of self-care, and how pleasure is an essential part of your overall wellbeing. I even attended some workshops to learn more about my body and how to use the toys correctly and safely.
Overall, my experience with sex toys was an eye-opening one. It was a journey that changed the way I viewed myself and helped me understand more about my sexuality. It taught me that it’s ok to explore, it’s ok to experiment, and it’s ok to feel pleasure. It was like jumping into the unknown and discovering a whole new world.